Dojo Darelir, the School of Xenograg the Sorcerer

Tag: fiction

Bangsian Fantasy

September 24, 2024

Bangsian fantasy is a fantasy genre which concerns the use of the afterlife as the main setting within which its characters, who may be famous preexisting historical or fictional figures, act and interact. It is named for John Kendrick Bangs (1862–1922), who often wrote it.

Bangsian fantasy – Wikipedia

My favorite work in this genre is Legions of Hell by C.J. Cherryh. Its back cover teaser immediately hooked me:

“It was one of those days in Hell when Brutus showed up in Julius Caesar’s household, seventeen, and not remembering a thing about that little scene on the Ides of March. Well, that’s Hell for you…”

Reach Deep Inside and Sacrifice

September 23, 2024

“…What can we do for you?” Ghastek said.

Here we go. “My father intends to attack the Keep at the beginning of the next magic wave. I intend to defend Atlanta against this invasion. I’d like you to join me.”

“You expect us to fight?” Constance asked.

“Yes.”

“Against your father?” Ryan Kelly asked. Even his purple Mohawk seemed incredulous.

“Yes.”

Toakase shook her head.

Ghastek raised his hand. “No.”

“Think about it,” Curran said. “It will make sense to you.”

Ghastek’s eyes narrowed. He was running through possible scenarios in his head trying to figure out what he’d missed. Maybe we’d get lucky and he would talk himself into it. Reach deep inside and sacrifice. I wish I knew what the hell she was talking about, because it would sure help right about now.

Pillman checked his watch. “This is ridiculous. After this morning’s phone call, we’re under no obligation to humor her any longer. Just throw her and her has-been shapeshifter out.”

Erra tore into existence in front of Pillman and backhanded him. The Master of the Dead flew back and fell on his ass.

“Bow, worm!” My aunt’s magic raged. “Bow before my niece. You’re not fit to lick her boots.”

The Masters of the Dead froze, horrified. Rowena’s face turned completely white. Next to me Adora unsheathed her katana. Blood-red wings snapped out of Christopher’s back.

A sharp calculation was taking place in Ghastek’s eyes. Above us vampires sprinted as he pulled them to him. Julie was a full twenty feet from me. This was about to turn bloody.

Now. I had to do it now.

Show them that you love them above all others.

I did love this land. I loved the city and the people within it. That’s why I fought so hard to protect it. I couldn’t ask it to give its magic, but I could give up a little of my own. I reached deep inside me and took the magic the same way I had taken it from the land, except now it came from within my soul.

It hurt.

“There is no need to shout.” I stepped toward Pillman, and my aunt moved out of my way. The Master of the Dead stared at me. His pupils widened. I reached for him. My hand almost glowed, as if dusted with gold. “Are you hurt?”

He reached out, hesitant, and touched my hand. I grasped his fingers. “Rise.”

“You.” Pillman stood up, his face stunned.

“Behold In-Shinar,” Julie intoned. “Daughter of the Builder of Towers, niece of the City Eater, Guardian of Atlanta.”

Burning my own magic hurt so much. I couldn’t let them see the pain.

“Don’t be afraid,” I told Pillman. “I’m not my father. He doesn’t value you. I do. He is far, unreachable, and distant. But I am here.”

He swallowed, his fingers fastened on my hand. I motioned toward the others. Pillman took one hesitant step back. Then another. That seemed to be as far from me as he was willing to go.

“My father doesn’t recognize your talents.” I looked straight at Ghastek. “I do. I know what you’re capable of.”

Their faces looked torn between hope and fear, caught in some weird emotion I couldn’t pin down. The technology was up and I stood among them, emanating magic. And each second I did cost me more than they would ever know. It was that or the city would fall.

They recognized this magic. Some of them had seen it before, because I saw the excitement and fear in their eyes. They were drawn to it like moths to a flame. It was the magic of my blood, the one that made the vampires possible, except now it was directed at them. They wanted my approval. I sensed it. Beyond them journeymen stood unmoving, shocked.

I finally pinned down their expressions. Awe.

Rowena knelt. Filipa was praying, her voice an urgent whisper.

Ghastek walked toward me and went down on one knee, looking up at me.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Saving all of us from being drowned in our blood and my father’s fire,” I whispered. “He’s going to throw you and your vampires at the Keep. You will be decimated. Your vampires will be gone; your position within Atlanta will be eliminated. If you survive, you will have to start from scratch, Ghastek.”

His face told me he didn’t want to start from scratch.

“You’re outside the inner circle. It will take you years to climb higher. Even if you become his Legatus, your life will be short. He will never care about you, Ghastek. I care. You are my friend. You are the best there is at what you do. This is your chance. Don’t do it because of what’s happening now. Do it because it makes sense.”

“You know my price,” Ghastek whispered.

“I know.” The irony was that he already had what he was asking for. He was my friend. I already cared about him. I would already do whatever I could to keep him breathing.

“Swear it,” Ghastek said.

I smiled at him. My voice rang. “Rise, Legatus of my Legion. Work with me, advise me, be my friend, and you will live forever.”

Magic Binds, Chapter 15

Author’s emphases.

Durandal

August 26, 2024

The sky paled to silver and rose as [Sarissa] came down to the river. She bent to lave her face, to drink of the cold clean water. When she had had her fill, she knelt there for a while, breathing damp cool air, watching the sun spread light across the horizon.

The river caught the flame of it. She trailed her fingers in water as bright as fire. It was clear here, and filling with light. Fishes darted; weeds swayed in the current. Farther out, where the river was deeper, the water darkened to black beneath the sun’s brilliance.

Sarissa pulled off her boots and waded out into the icy river. The shock of the cold made her gasp, but she steeled herself to bear it. The current tugged at her. She rooted herself in the earth. The water flowed over her but could not move her. When it lapped her chin, she filled her lungs with every scrap of air that they could hold, and slipped into a strange dark-bright world.

She swam as a fish swims, supple and swift, down and down into that realm of dim green shapes and rippling weeds, lit with sudden flashes of light: sun rising, fish leaping. She passed out of the sun’s light, but there was light below her, a gleam in the river’s darkness.

Just as she knew that her breath must fail her, her outstretched hand touched the thing that lay on the river’s bottom. It was hard, colder than the water, and caught fast in a tangle of weeds and clay. She grasped the end of it and thrust against the current. Her lungs had begun to burn. But she would not let go.

The earth fought for the victory, but the water in its current caught Sarissa and swirled her suddenly upward. Blind, half-unconscious, lungs afire, she burst into the light.

She fell on the green bank with her prize caught beneath her. Out of the water it was a massive, icy-cold thing, but its heart was fire.

She lifted herself to her knees. A sword lay in the grass. It gleamed as if it had come new from the forge, grey rippled steel like the water that had begotten it. Its hilt was plain silver without adornment, but for a white stone set in the pommel.

As she knelt in front of it. Tarik flowed out of the river, licking cat-whiskers, flicking a fish’s tail that flowed and stretched and transmuted into a cat’s. He inspected the sword with approval. The water had done well, his glance said, and the sun’s fire, forging a blade for a champion’s hand. If indeed there was a champion in the world, and if, once chosen, he would do what he had been sought out to do.

Tarik, when he was a cat, had a cat’s irony. But it was a fine sword, as solid as earth, and as palpably real. Sarissa trusted that the same would be true of the man for whom it had been wrought.

Kingdom of the Grail, Chapter 3

Your Quality Will Be Known Among Your Enemies

August 22, 2024
Imad:
[Caresses the neck of the horse as he stands beside it.]
A very good horse.
Balian:
Take the horse and be about your business.
Imad:
[surprised]
This is your prize of battle! I am your prisoner—your slave, should you wish it!
Balian:
I have been a slave, or very near to one. I will never keep one nor suffer any to be kept.
Go.
Imad:
[Mounts the horse]
The man you killed was a very great cavalier among the Muslims. His name was Mummad al-Fais.
Balian:
I will pray for him.
Imad:
Your quality will be known among your enemies before ever you meet them, my friend.

— “Kingdom of Heaven” (2005)

I Take Money Out of the Equation

July 27, 2024
Daphne:
[exasperated]
You won’t answer my questions. You won’t take my money….
Ray:
[lecturing]
Okay, I’ll tell you this much: the world runs on money. Everyone walks around with this invisible number in their heads. You hit the figure close enough, the penny drops, you own the man….
I take money out of the equation. My hands don’t sweat. Because I’m never at the pay window.

Stingray, Pilot (1985)

Kata Are Formal Practice Routines

July 24, 2024

[The protagonist is a trained swordsman staying in a city far from home. His sensei arranges for him to train at a local dojo. This is his first time there. As a “new student”, he is given a white belt to wear.]

…When the class was called to order, I made sure I sat at the end with the beginners. Everything in a traditional Japanese training hall is related to issues of rank: it conditions whom you bow to and how, the roles of people in paired exercises, and how you’re supposed to behave in general. Even the room is divided into spheres of higher and lower status. Higher ranks line up closest to the place of honor where the scroll hung. As sensei, Hasegawa would sit at that end. The line would stretch away from him, across the room, and as individual rank decreased, so your place in the line grew farther and farther away from the teacher.

I sat near the door, with the kids….

…The Hasegawa school was rooted in the traditions of judo and aikido. The advanced students worked with wooden swords and the short staff known as a jo. They handed me one of the staffs, which were made from white oak.

We moved through some basics, practicing movement and strikes in isolation. Then we progressed to paired techniques….

Kata,” [the sensei] called. Kata are the formal practice routines of the old arts, choreographed actions developed from traditions where the slightest error with a weapon could maim your opponent. Some martial artists disdain kata. When done right, true kata practice can make the sweat stream off you and your hair stand on end.

In the paired exercises focusing on jo, the attacker uses a wooden sword and the defender wields a jo. There are twelve kata for jo, and they grow subtly more complex as you progress through them. As a junior ranked person in this school, I got to defend with the jo. I was looking about for a partner, when [Hasegawa sensei] slipped into place in front of me carrying a wooden sword. He grinned slightly as we bowed.

But when we came together, he was all business—focused, smooth, and lethal. We started with the kata called tsukizue. Hasegawa was holding back a bit, getting a feel for my skill level. As we advanced through each form, his movements grew crisper, harder, and faster. His eyes tightened in concentration as my response kept pace with the increasing intensity of his actions.

By the time we had finished the final kata called Ranai, we were both sweaty. We brought our weapons down and bowed formally to each other. The smile was back on his face. I glanced around me and noticed that the rest of the class had sat down to watch. Thinking back, I remember the fleeting impression that most other activity had stopped some time ago.

“Thank you, Sensei,” I said. “That was the sort of thing I needed.”

“My pleasure, Dr. Burke,” he said, and sounded like he meant it. He called the class to order and we began to line up for the formal bow that would end the session. I started to move down to the end of the line, but Hasegawa laid a gentle hand upon my arm.

“Oh, no.” He gestured beside him in the special spot reserved for teachers. “You sit beside me here….”

Kage, Chapter 6

The Authentic Swing

July 13, 2024

[The enigmatic Bagger Vance and young Hardy Graves are walking the Krewe Island golf course the night before the exhibition match when they are joined by O. B. Keeler, friend of the legendary Bobby Jones. The historical fiction story is a recollection by Hardy in later life.]

“Let’s see you take a cut.” Bagger Vance held out Junah’s driver to me.

“You mean hit one?”

“Just give us a few swings.”

They had apparently been discussing some theory, and I was to be their guinea pig. I didn’t mind. I took the big deep-faced driver that Junah called Schenectady Slim, planted my feet and gave it a wail from my soles. Once more, Bagger Vance requested. I swung again. When I looked up, he and Keeler were both chuckling merrily.

I felt like a fool, half ready to slam the club down and storm off, when Bagger Vance again caught my shoulder with that warm strong hand. “We’re not laughing at you, Hardy,” he said.

“No,” Keeler followed, “more at our own poor selves, I fear.” Keeler explained, “We chuckled out of envy, envy of youth and fearlessness.” He declared that if he had torqued his spine through half the turn I had just taken, it would put him in the hospital for a week.

He spoke thoughtfully for a few moments about a boy’s natural swing, any boy’s. The big raw pivot, enormous arc, the natural sense of balance, release and turn.

“May I take it, sir,” Bagger Vance said when Keeler had finished, “that you believe there is such a thing as the Authentic Swing?”

You could see Keeler cover his astonishment. Apparently Bagger Vance had hit on something Keeler had thought about, and was deeply interested in. “The Authentic Swing, did you say? Yes, I do.”

He looked at Bagger Vance deeply, solemnly, still more than a little amazed to be addressed so seriously and with such intelligence by this odd, mysterious man.

“Tell me, sir, if you wouldn’t mind,” Keeler said, “what are your thoughts on it?”

“Have you ever seen identical twins take up golf? Their swings from the very first are radically different. Isn’t that odd?”

Keeler absorbed this from Vance, nodding thoughtfully. Yes, he had seen twins swing. Yes, how interesting that their motions were so different….

“Or,” Bagger Vance continued, “have you ever watched a boy pick up a club for the first time and swing? I mean his first swing ever. And then seen him years later as an accomplished player? Isn’t his mature swing virtually identical to the one he took the first time he picked up a club?”

“That is so,” Keeler agreed enthusiastically. “Please continue.”

“Or consider a professional instructor trying to alter a student’s swing to fit some preconception of the proper motion. It’s virtually impossible, is it not?”

Keeler agreed. “I see you’re driving at a point, sir.”

Vance paused. Keeler stood, absolutely attentive. “I believe that each of us possesses, inside ourselves,” Bagger Vance began, “one true Authentic Swing that is ours alone. It is folly to try to teach us another, or mold us to some ideal version of the perfect swing. Each player possesses only that one swing that he was born with, that swing which existed within him before he ever picked up a club. Like the statue of David, our Authentic Swing already exists, concealed within the stone, so to speak.”

Keeler broke in with excitement. “Then our task as golfers, according to this line of thought …”

“…is simply to chip away all that is inauthentic, allowing our Authentic Swing to emerge in its purity.”

We had reached the sixteenth green. Keeler paced beside Vance as he strode the putting surface, examining its slope and grain. “That’s why a boyhood swing like your young friend’s here is so fascinating. We marvel at its raw purity and unselfcon-sciousness. It’s why we laughed involuntarily when we saw it. It shamed us, in a way.”

“Think of a swing like Hagen‘s,” Bagger Vance resumed. “That lurching slashing motion, could you teach that to anyone else? Could anyone other than Hagen even make contact with the ball? And yet for him, it’s perfect. It is authentic. It is he. The swing he was born with, the swing that is the true expression of his existence.

“Have you noticed, Mr. Keeler, the endless praise and even adulation that is heaped upon your friend Mr. Jones’ swing? To watch it evokes emotion, does it not? One might even say love; and do you know why? Is it not because we, in some deep intuitive part of ourselves, recognize Jones’ swing as Authentic? The pure expression of his being, his inner grace and nobility, his power, his concentration and even his flaws and imperfections? Jones’ swing embodies every aspect of his being like a perfect poem or symphony, and, if I may guess, has embodied it from the start.”

Keeler assented emphatically. “I believe you’re on to something, sir! I’ve known Bobby since he was thirteen and, do you know, his swing today is virtually identical to the one he possessed then and, I’ll wager, to the swing he had at ten and eight and even six. Probably the first swing Bobby ever took would be recognizable to us, had we film of it.”

“And before that,” Bagger Vance declared. “Before he ever picked up a club. Before he was even born.”

Vance paused, realizing that Keeler had a notepad in his hand. “Do you mind if I take some of this down?” Keeler asked. Bagger Vance hesitated, but continued.

“Consider the swing itself,” he said. “Its existence metaphysically, I mean. It has no objective reality of its own, no existence at all save when our bodies create it, and yet who can deny that it exists, independently of our bodies, as if on another plane of reality.”

“Am I hearing you right, sir?” Keeler asked. “Are you equating the swing with the soul, the Authentic Soul?”

“I prefer the word Self,” Bagger Vance said. “The Authentic Self. I believe this is the reason for the endless fascination of golf. The game is a metaphor for the soul’s search for its true ground and identity.

“Self-realization, you mean?”

“If you like. We enter onto this material plane, as Wordsworth said, ‘not in utter nakedness, but trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home.’ In other words, already possessing a highly refined and individuated soul. Our job here is to recall that soul and become it. To form a union with it, a yoga as they say in India.”

“You’ve been to India, sir?”

“Many times,” Bagger Vance replied. “In the East, men are not embarrassed to speak openly of the Self. But here in the West, such piety makes people uncomfortable. That is where golf comes in.”

“The search for the Authentic Swing is a parallel to the search for the Self. We as golfers pursue that elusive essence our entire lives. What hooks us about the game is that it gives us glimpses. Glimpses of our Authentic Swing, like a mystic being granted a vision of the face of God. All we need is to experience it once—one mid-iron screaming like a bullet toward the flag, one driver flushed down the middle—and we’re enslaved forever. We feel with absolute certainty that if we could only swing like that all the time, we would be our best selves, our true selves, our Authentic Selves. That’s why we lionize men like Hagen and Jones and treat them like gods. They are gods in that sense, the sense that they have found their Authentic Selves, at least within the realm of golf.”

Keeler was now utterly in Vance’s thrall. We had passed off the sixteenth green and were climbing the rise to the seventeenth tee. Ahead we could see the ballroom lights and hear the orchestra music, faint scraps of it corning to us on the air. “Tell me, Mr. Vance. How does one find, if that’s the correct word…how does one find his own Authentic Swing?”

“I will answer that, Mr. Keeler. But before I begin, let me make an important distinction. The wild fearless cut we saw young Hardy take a few holes ago, that was not the Authentic Swing. It is a precursor, a foreshadowing. To reach the Authentic Swing, a player must pass through three distinct stages.

“First the pure state of unconsciousness, or preconsciousness. Pre-self-consciousness. This is the state in which our youthful companion resides now. He doesn’t think about what he’s doing, he simply picks up the club and swings. This demonstrates deep wisdom, because it expresses faith in the existence of the Swing, it launches itself fearlessly into the Void. Unfortunately this pure state, like youth itself, cannot last. It must by Nature’s law pass on to the next stage.”

“Self-awareness”—Keeler strode step-for-step beside Bagger Vance up the rise—”self-consciousness.”

“Exactly,” Vance acknowledged. “In this stage, we realize that we possess an Authentic Swing, but we can’t repeat it. Some days we can’t find it at all. Our frustration mounts. We begin to study, to seek instruction, to strive by dint of effort to mold and control our motion. This as every golfer knows leads only to despair. We cannot overcome golf by force of will.”

Vance stopped at the pinnacle of the teeing ground for the seventeenth. He looked out pensively over the dark duneland that stretched for a thousand yards along the night shore. His focus seemed to have wandered, to have left Keeler and traveled to some distant shore in his mind.

“You said there was a third stage,” Keeler prompted. “A stage, one assumes, beyond self-awareness.”

“Few reach that level, as we well know.” Bagger Vance smiled, returning from whatever inner land he had journeyed to. “And then only briefly. It is as elusive as Enlightenment. Merely to realize we possess it makes it fly from us. And yet paradoxically it is always there, nearest of the near, closer to us than our own skin.”

“But how,” Keeler pressed, “how do we get to it?”

“It gets to us,” Bagger Vance said. “Surrendering to it at last, we allow it to possess us.”

“The Self, you mean?”

“And then we can play.”

A soft chiming sound interrupted us. Keeler tugged a silver railroadman’s watch from his vest pocket. It chimed its last sweet beat. “My goodness, it’s four A.M. I must get at least an hour of sleep.” He was torn, you could see, wanting to stay up and listen to Vance all night.

“Sir, could you briefly, as we walk in, expound on this subject just a little more? Is there a path, a Way, that leads us to the Authentic Swing?”

“There are three,” Bagger Vance said.

Unfortunately I missed most of what he said, for he had me pacing yardages on these two last and most important holes. I scooted out quickly, with Vance shouting after me not to rush but to keep my strides uniform, then scurried back as fast as I could while still being true to the yardage…. I caught what I could of the instruction Vance gave to Mr. Keeler.

The first path, I heard him say, was that of Discipline. It had something to do with beating balls, with endless practice, an utter relentless commitment to achieving physical mastery of the game.

Second was the path of Wisdom. I heard practically nothing of what Vance said here (I was checking yardage to three separate bunkers off the eighteenth) except, I believe, that the process was largely mental—a study of the swing much like a scientist might undertake: analysis, dissection, and so on.

Third (and this I heard most of) was the path of Love.

On this path, Vance said, we learn the Swing the way a child acquires its native tongue. We absorb it through pure love of the game. This is how boys and girls learn, intuitively, through their pores, by total devotion and immersion. Without technically “studying” the swing, they imbibe it by osmosis, from watching accomplished players and from sensing it within their own bones.

“All three of these paths embody one unifying principle,” Vance said. We were now approaching the eighteenth green. “That of surrender. Surrender of the Little Mind to the Big Mind, surrender of the personal ego to the greater wisdom of the Self.

“The path of beating balls defeats the player, as it must, until he surrenders at last and allows his swing to swing itself. The path of study and dissection leads only to paralysis, until the player likewise surrenders and allows his overloaded brain to set down its burden, till in empty purity it remembers how to swing.

“In other words, the first and second ways both lead to the third. Love is the greatest of these ways. For in the end, grace comes from God, from the Authentic Self. But to plumb this mystery would take us far more than a night and, I’m sorry to see, we have reached the final green. You must be very tired, Mr. Keeler.”

On the contrary Keeler was energized, electric. “I won’t sleep a wink after this,” he said, “but I suppose I must try….”

The Legend of Bagger Vance, Chapters 10-11

Author’s emphases are in italic. Mine is in bold.

Story of Red Hair from Conan the Barbarian

July 12, 2024

This is too good not to post the full text.

Conan the Barbarian is my go-to Christmas movie, and some new things really stood out to me at this year’s viewing.

I want to talk about this moment and this guy.

This is the story of Red Hair.

Red Hair isn’t much present—and that, quite different—in the latest script draft I can find, which is the John Milius third….

The final film is another story: he’s huge.

It’s Red Hair who chains Conan to the Wheel of Pain, who turns him into a pitfighter, who educates him and uses him as breeding stock, and who finally, unexpectedly, sets him free.

This is a man who matters enormously in Conan’s life, and in the story.

For Conan, who makes no decisions in any part of this sequence, this part of the film is a series of barely-connected experiences. For Red Hair, it’s a complete narrative arc in a chunk of the picture that you could legitimately argue is a standalone short film about him.

So who is Red Hair?

To understand that, you first have to understand where he comes from, which requires revisiting the raiding scene at the film’s opening. The raid on Conan’s village is carried out by three different kinds of people.

The first kind are the cultists of Set, led by Thulsa Doom, whose flunkies are Rexor (big mustache) and Thorgrim (big hammer). These guys are easily distinguished because they are a) in charge b) all about snakes. They put snakes on everything: armor, helmets, shields, weapons.

The second kind of people at the raid are Picts. These are the guys with painted faces and/or tattooed bodies, as seen in the background here and in closeup in the form of Arnold’s friend and fellow bodybuilder Franco Columbu as a Pictish scout.

The third kind are Vanir. These are Red Hair’s people. They’re a northern people, like the Cimmerians, but they wear furs where the Cimmerians wear skins, and fight on horseback while Cimmerians fight afoot.

Note that the Picts and the Vanir are doing their own thing, style-wise. They’re not all about snakes. Meaning they’re not in Thulsa Doom’s cult.

This makes sense. Remember, “two years ago it was just another snake cult.” So in Conan’s boyhood, Thulsa Doom’s set must have been even smaller.

Which raises the obvious question: what are the Picts and the Vanir even doing there?

The Wizard’s voiceover says that no one knows why the raiders came, but later in the picture Thulsa Doom tells Conan why: in his youth, he was mad for steel, and fought to get it.

Given his then-paltry followers, to fight for steel, Thulsa Doom would have needed allies. And to get allies, he had to give them something. We don’t know what he gave the Picts, but the Vanir got slaves: the children of Conan’s village.

Red Hair isn’t in on the raiding of Conan’s village. He’s just a boy himself, a few years older than Conan. The first time we see him is as part of the small group of Vanir riding off with the slaves afterward.

He goes with them all the way to their destination. Note that Red Hair is the only one without a helmet. Milius wants you to see that mop of hair. He’s marking that character.

Digression: marking a character is a film technique that isn’t talked about much but is used a lot; and feels like it’s become almost obligatory in the last couple of decades, if there’s a chance of the audience not recognizing a returning character who is important.

For example, if the character is one of a number of similar-looking characters/creatures, or is played by multiple actors because the story makes a time jump. Think of Lurtz’s big palmprint makeup in Fellowship of the Ring (2001) or Amleth’s necklace in The Northman (2022).

The first time we get a really good look at Red Hair, and see his face, he’s securing the chains binding twelve-year-old Conan to the Wheel of Pain that Conan is going to push for at least a good ten years. Maybe more.

There’s a reason both kids get closeups. They’ll meet again.

But in the intervening decade plus, this is Conan’s office.

The movie never gets into what the Wheel of Pain is actually for, but it’s clearly a mill, probably for a salt mine; in closer shots there’s some scattered white powder around the base, and if you look to the bottom right of the frame there are some additional facilities.

And the mine is not a very productive one, because over the course of Conan’s tenure slaves reassigned, sold off, or deceased don’t get replaced. By the end of his time there Conan is the only one pushing it.

The garrison is drawn down, too: by the end of its run it’s literally one guard and Conan, which sounds like a premise for a bizarre sitcom.

This is when Red Hair returns.

Again, that’s what the big bushy mop of red hair is for: telling you this is the same guy. He greets Conan’s one guard with respect, but also warmth. Then he leads Conan away, and the wheel stops. Probably forever.

Why Red Hair matters: long involvement with the Wheel of Pain and evident closeness to its personnel suggest that the facility is part of his family concern.

Red Hair isn’t buying Conan; he already owns him, and he’s repurposing a small asset, part of a failed larger asset.

This is how Conan’s new career as a pitfighter begins: either Conan’s a winner, or he’s one less mouth to feed. (Red Hair evidently doesn’t much care which, as he doesn’t even bother explaining to Conan that Conan is about to be in a deathfight.)

But Conan wins.

And wins.

And keeps winning.

“In time, his victories could not easily be counted.”

Red Hair is making bank. Conan is, surprisingly, a profitable asset. So what do?

Red Hair chooses to reinvest in his asset. Conan goes east to learn from the warmasters.

This is a sensible choice. Conan is a great pitfighter. If he learns to fight with battlefield weapons, he’s got some new career options. Maybe a gladiator, fighting for big bucks in actual arenas. Maybe even a soldier, to win real gains for Red Hair’s family and people.

Conan surprises again. He impresses the warmasters. The instructor corrects him, slaps him around a bit, sure… and nut-kicks the other guy. It’s a hard school, but—as a watching Red Hair sees—Conan is a hard worker and a good student.

And Conan learns well.

Very, very well.

So Red Hair invests further. He takes his biggest step yet.

He teaches Conan to read.

Why teach a pitfighter, a gladiator, even a soldier to read? Why give him access to “the poetry of Kitai, the philosophy of Sung?”

It shows Red Hair has started to dream big. He realizes Conan isn’t just a fighter. He’s potentially an officer. A captain. Maybe even a general.

Red Hair lives in a martial society, and he has found himself, quite by chance, the manager of a remarkable martial talent. (One he is breeding “to the finest stock,” probably [because] all of this talent development far from home is expensive and Conan’s stud fees are supporting them.)

But then Conan meets the Turanian Khan, and Red Hair—who has been making money off of Conan and reinvesting that money back into him—suddenly decides to sacrifice any hope of profit, to write entirely Conan off his balance sheet, and to send Conan off to make his own fortune.

Why does a shrewd investor like Red Hair do that?

The answer lies in the scene everybody remembers in Conan the Barbarian. Because Red Hair is in it, and it’s important that he is.


So let’s talk about the khan scene.

People forget the first line in that scene, delivered by the khan: “My fear is that my sons will never understand me.” Or treat it like it’s a dubbed-in joke.

It is not a joke. It is not a bit of goofy ADR.

That line is the reason the scene exists.

The khan announces his fear that his sons will never understand him. He mentions some names, evidently a couple of sites of victory: “We won again!”

Everyone cheers.

“This is good,” says the khan. “But what is best in life?”

One of the younger men answers, “The open steppe. A fleet horse. Falcons at your wrist. And the wind in your hair.”

The Khan bellows: “Wrong!!!! Conan, what is best in life?”

Whereupon Conan answers: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.”

“That is good!” cries the Khan.

The talk about that scene tends to focus on Conan’s answer. Here’s what that overlooks:

Why does the scene open with the Khan worrying his sons will never understand him?

Because that’s how you know the guy who gives the wrong answer is the khan’s son.

And it is not on its face a terrible answer! Imagine doing that! Falconing on the open steppe from horseback, wind in your hair? That is actually pretty freakin’ boss!

But that is not a khan’s answer.

That is a nobleman’s answer.

And here’s the thing: Red Hair is, in his rough society, a nobleman.

I bet the khan’s son’s idea of the good life sounded pretty reasonable to him. It sounds pretty good to me. But if you are a khan, this is wrong.

Khans do not make war so that they may live. They live so that they can make war. Hearing of victories is not great in the way that winning the victories for yourself and being there at the victory is great.

So consider how this scene unfolds from Red Hair’s perspective.

Red Hair has gained an audience with the Turanian khan. (This is a feat!) Conan is seated higher than everyone else, in a central position. He’s on display.

Red Hair is pretty clearly looking to impress the Turanian khan with Conan.

Red Hair’s goal in this is probably either 1) an alliance, with Conan leading Vanir troops in alliance with Turanians, or 2) selling Conan’s services or Conan himself to the khan. And so far, things are looking good.

But then the khan worries his son doesn’t understand him. To test his fear, he asks a khan’s question of his son, and gets a nobleman’s answer. The khan is disappointed.

So he asks a slave.

Asked a khan’s question, Conan gives a khan’s answer.

If you’re Red Hair, this poses a bit of a problem: what do you do when you realize that you’re holding as a slave a man who is, by the dictates of your society, your unquestioned better?

This is not about anti-slavery enlightenment, with Red Hair seeing himself and Conan as moral equals. Red Hair is a man who lives in a society of power, hierarchy, and honor. Conan thinks about these things the way the most powerful men of this society think. And Red Hair does not.

There is absolutely no way that Red Hair can keep such a man as Conan as a slave. He couldn’t look himself in the mirror, if he had one.

More: it’s not just about how Red Hair sees himself. There are real practical problems here.

Red Hair is keeping a natural king as a pet, and the only reason he can get away with it is that the king hasn’t realized that he is a king…yet.

If Conan realizes he is a king in waiting, Red Hair is dead.

If Red Hair sets Conan up with the planned Turanian gig, the khan’s son is certainly not going to be pleased to have around a man who understands his father better than he does.

If not murdered, Conan and Red Hair could be swept up in a Turanian civil war that they caused.

If Red Hair tries to kill Conan himself—and good luck with that; he’s totally physically overmatched—he’s looking at either his own death at Conan’s hands, or incurring the ire of a khan who now likes Conan better than he likes Red Hair.

If Red Hair frees Conan and keeps him in company, the best-case scenario is that Red Hair will in short order become a man following his own former slave.

So Red Hair does the only thing he can do: he strips Conan of his pit-fighter’s headdress, cuts his chain, and boots him out into the night.

Given sudden freedom, Conan doesn’t know why. But Red Hair does, and he trusts that a man who is obviously a misplaced king will find his own way.

As he does.

Look how much that character accomplishes, how important he is, how many meaningful choices he makes, and how much meat there is to talk about when it comes to this guy.

In Conan the Barbarian, the sum of Red Hair’s spoken dialogue comes to less than twenty words.

@hradzka – Twitter

Author’s emphases.

Training As a Jedi

July 8, 2024

Training as a Jedi is often a series of brief bouts of working apprenticeship. Everything your master can tell you, she can tell you in a few days. What she can show you, she can show you in weeks. It’s only when you have to put the lessons into context in a real situation that you truly start to learn. A new apprentice Jedi often spends the longest with the first teacher, learning and adventuring until he or she can feel the call of the Force without aid. The mentor then suggests some other Jedi that the student might seek out that can impart different lessons, and new understanding of the Force. On the way to the next master, the student suffers through a series of interesting events, better putting training to practice. And new teachers demand their own quests before imparting their wisdom. Life as a Jedi is the life of a questing knight, forever in motion. A Jedi does not crave adventure, knowing that adventure will find her, regardless.

Alternate Clone Wars, Part 3 – System sans Setting

This comes from a series of posts where the blogger reimagines the Star Wars universe based upon the premise “nothing is canon except the original three movies.” I like this premise, and the entire series it inspired.

A Witch Who Had Dealings With the White-fiends

July 3, 2024

Morwen Eledhwen remained in Hithlum, silent in grief. Her son Túrin was only in his ninth year, and she was again with child. Her days were evil. The Easterlings came into the land in great numbers and they dealt cruelly with the people of Hador, and robbed them of all that they possessed and enslaved them. All the people of Húrin’s homelands that could work or serve any purpose they took away, even young girls and boys, and the old they killed or drove out to starve. But they dared not yet lay hands on the Lady of Dor-lómin, or thrust her from her house; for the word ran among them that she was perilous, and a witch who had dealings with the white-fiends: for so they named the Elves, hating them, but fearing them more….

The Children of Hurin, Chapter 4

Throat and Groin

June 26, 2024

When Dardalion joined him Waylander blinked in mock disbelief. A white horse-hair plumed helmet was buckled at the chin, and the leather-trimmed cloak lay over a shimmering breastplate embossed with a flying eagle. A leather kilt, studded with silver, protected Dardalion’s thighs, while silver greaves were buckled to his calves. By his side hung a cavalry sabre, and on his left hip a long, curved knife sat in a jewelled scabbard.

“You look ridiculous,” said Waylander.

“Most probably. But will it serve?”

“It will serve to draw the Vagrians to you like flies to a cowpat.”

“I do feel rather foolish.”

“Then take it off and find yourself something less garish.”

“No. I can’t explain why, but this is right.”

“Then keep away from me, priest. I want to stay alive!”

“Will you not get yourself some armour?”

“I have my mail shirt. I don’t intend to stand in one place long enough to be cut.”

“I would appreciate some advice on swordsmanship,” said Dardalion.

“Gods of Mercy!” snapped Waylander. “It takes years to learn and you have an hour, maybe two. There’s nothing I can teach you—just remember throat and groin. Protect your own, slice theirs!”

Waylander, Chapter 7

We Are Protectors Not Warriors

June 21, 2024
The Ancient One:
We are protectors not warriors.

— “Doctor Strange: The Sorcerer Supreme” (2007)

The Last Unicorn

June 21, 2024
Hunter #1:
I mislike the feel of these woods. Creatures that live in a unicorn’s forest learn a little magic of their own in time—mainly concerned with disappearing.
Hunter #2:
Unicorns? I thought they only existed in fairytales. This is a forest, like any other. Isn’t it?
Hunter #1:
Then why do the leaves never fall here? Or the snow? Why is it always spring here?
I tell you there is one unicorn left in the world, and as long as it lives in this forest we’ll find no game to hunt here.
Hunter #2:
Let’s turn around. Hunt somewhere else.
Hunter #1:
Alright.
[Turns and calls out to the unseen unicorn.]
Stay where you are, poor beast! This is no world for you! Stay in your forest and keep your trees green and your friends protected! And good luck to you, for you are the last!

— “The Last Unicorn” (1982)

Not Today

June 19, 2024
Syrio Forel:
Do you pray to the gods?
Arya Stark:
The old and the new.
Syrio Forel:
There is only one god…and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death:
“Not today.”

— “A Golden Crown” – Game of Thrones, Season 1 (2011)

Our Deepest Fear

June 18, 2024
Timo Cruz:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsiously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

— “Coach Carter” (2005)

Leaving the Master Behind

June 16, 2024

That autumn, when the weather finally broke toward winter, Blaise and I returned to my long-abandoned lessons. I studied with greater intensity now because I had the hunger, and because I so wanted to make up for lost time—committing the stories and songs of our people to memory; sharpening my powers of observation; increasing my store of knowledge about the Earth and her ways, and those of all her creatures; practicing the harp; delving deep into mysteries and secrets of earth and air, fire and water.

But it soon became apparent that in the realm of things men call magic, my knowledge outstripped his. Gern-y-fhain had taught me well; what is more, the Hill People possessed many secrets even the Learned Brotherhood did not know. These I possessed as well.

The winter proceeded, one cold leaden day following another, until at last the sun began to linger longer in the sky and the land to warm beneath its rays. It was then that I reached the end of Blaise’s tutelage. “There is nothing more I can give you, Hawk,” he told me. “On my life, I cannot think of another thing to teach. Yet, there are many you might teach me.”

I stared at him for a moment. “But there is so much—I know so little.”

“True,” he said, his lean face lighting in a grin. “Is that not the beginning of true wisdom?”

“I am in earnest, Blaise. There must be more.”

“And I am in earnest too, Myrddin Bach. There is nothing more that I can teach you. Oh, a few of the minor stories of our race perhaps; but nothing of import.”

“I cannot have learned it all,” I protested.

“True again. There is much more to be learned, but I am not the one to teach you. Whatever else there is, you must learn it on your own.” He shook his head lightly. “Do not look so downcast, Hawk. It is no disgrace for pupil to leave master behind. It happens….”

Merlin, Chapter 14

Putting Aside the Hurt of the Past

June 3, 2024

News of [Prince] Elphin’s astounding prowess in the battle with the cattle raiders spread quickly throughout the six cantrefs. His kinsmen greeted him respectfully when they saw him and told one another once and again about the uncanny change in the king’s son.

He was bold, they said, and brave; the soul of an ancient hero—perhaps the very one whose torc he now wore—animated him. The lumbering Cuall, formerly one of Elphin’s harshest detractors, became overnight his greatest advocate.

Elphin enjoyed the praise and his increased status in the clan but did not make too much of it, preferring to minimize his role in the remarkable series of events that seemed to be clustering around him since his discovery of the babe in the weir. And Hafgan [the druid], whose prophecy had foreseen the change, appeared to view the young man in a different light. Clan members saw the two talking together frequently….

With no shortage of eager volunteers, work [on Elphin’s house] was progressing quickly: timbers were cut, shaped, and erected around the perimeter of the excavated hole and connected with beams and rafters; walls of split logs had been lashed into place and the chinks were being filled with clay; soon reed thatch would be laid and trimmed for the roof….

…Then there came the sound of hammering. Elphin looked back toward his house where Cuall, having prepared the heads of the two raiders slain by Elphin’s spear by dipping them in cedar oil, was now nailing them to the doorposts of his nearly-finished house. “This is a warrior’s house,” he said, stepping back to admire his handiwork. “Now everyone will know it.”

“A warrior’s house,” muttered Elphin, shaking his head. “It was luck, not a warrior’s skill that felled those two.”

“Do not mock the faith of simple men,” replied Hafgan. “Luck in battle is a thing of power, for whatever men believe they will follow.” He paused and pointed at Cuall. “I spoke of the future. There is yours.”

“Cuall?”

“And men like him. A battlechief must have a warband.”

“A warband! Hafgan, we have not maintained a warband since before my grandfather was a boy. With the garrison at Caer Seiont there has been no need.”

“Times change, Elphin. Needs change….”

The druid turned and walked away. Elphin watched him go, and then went back to inspect his house. Cuall was lingering nearby, and Elphin realized with some surprise that the man waited for a look or sign of recognition from him. He stopped and studied the heads nailed to his doorposts and then directed his gaze to Cuall.

“I am honored by your thoughtfulness,” he said and watched a huge grin break like sunrise across Cuall’s crag of a face.

“A man should have renown among his people.”

“You have earned the hero’s portion often enough yourself, Cuall. And I have heard your name lauded around the feast table more times than I can count.”

Elphin was amazed at the impact of his words. The hulking Cuall grinned foolishly, and his cheeks colored like a maid’s when her clumsy flirtation is discovered.

“I would fight at your side anytime,” said Cuall earnestly.

“I am going to raise a warband, Cuall. I will need your help.”

“My life is yours, Sire.” Cuall touched his forehead with the back of his hand.

“I accept your service,” Elphin replied seriously. The two men gazed at one another and Cuall stepped close, taking Elphin in a fierce hug. Then, suddenly embarrassed, he turned and hurried away.

“You will make a good king.”

Elphin turned to see [his recently-wed wife] Rhonwyn watching him from the doorway. “You saw?”

She nodded. “I saw a future lord winning support. More, I saw a man putting aside the hurt of the past and reconciling a former enemy, raising him to friendship without rancor or guile.”

“It is not in me to hurt him. Besides, he is the best warrior in the clan. I will need his help.”

“And that is why you will be a good king. Small men do not hesitate to repay hurt for hurt….”

Taliesin, Chapter 13

Courage of the Heart Is Very Rare

May 13, 2024
Nicodemus:
[gives Mrs. Brisby an amulet with a large red gemstone.]
Courage of the heart is very rare. The stone has a power when it’s there.

— “The Secret of NIMH” (1982)

A Six-Demon Bag

May 5, 2024
Egg Shen:
Time for the medicine!
[pours smoking potion into cups]
Cheers!
Jack Burton:
This does what again, exactly?
Egg Shen:
Huge buzz!
[drinks smoking potion from his cup]
Oooh, good! Can see things no one else can see! Do things no one else can do!
Jack Burton:
Real things?
Egg Shen:
As real as Lo Pan!
Jack Burton:
Hey, what more can a guy ask for?
Egg Shen:
Oh, a six-demon bag!
[shakes the bag slung around his shoulder]
Jack Burton:
Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What’s in it, Egg?
Egg Shen:
Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!

— “Big Trouble in Little China” (1986)

Party buff!

Black Blood of the Earth

April 26, 2024
Jack Burton:
That is not water.
Egg Shen:
Black Blood of the Earth.
Jack Burton:
You mean oil?
Egg Shen:
I mean Black Blood of the Earth!

— “Big Trouble in Little China” (1986)

Something a mega-dungeon should have. 😀